Today's guest article is from Deb Hamilton. It is a piece of writing I enjoyed very much. I hope it makes you smile and enjoy the humorous side of Deb. Deb is a middle-aged woman married to a trophy husband, a guy she just calls “Scotch.” Deb has three young adult children, three dogs, one cat, 137 pet peeves, and a fish named Goldengate. Deb loves to travel to funky places that require a passport and plenty of antidiarrheals. A “woman of a certain age,” she’ll readily tell you what she thinks or what you should think. Or maybe just tell you off. You’ll get used to it.
FAQ: What To Do With Your Weiner At The House Gym
Semi-nude photos of Representative Anthony Weiner taken at the House Gym on Capitol Hill have been recently, um, uncovered. This has caused the staff here at the gym to reconsider some of our guidelines. Many people don't know what to do with their Weiner while they're working out. These FAQs should help clear up any confusion and help you appropriately handle your Weiner:
1. Can I just leave my Weiner at home? No. Some Weiners get lonely if you don't take them out enough. They might chew the sofa or get on Twitter without you. Always take your Weiner wherever you go.
2. Does my Weiner have to pay a separate entrance fee? Please see the wall chart posted by the main desk. Only Weiners that are shorter than the height of Nancy Pelosi's outstretched arm can get in for free.
3. Who is obligated to watch my Weiner while I work out? Anyone may watch your Weiner at any time but the staff here at the House Gym cannot be held liable for any physical, emotional, or psychological damage caused by your errant Weiner. It is best to keep your Weiner close at hand. Unruly Weiners cannot be allowed on the premises.
4. My Weiner has needs; who is responsible to meet these needs during my workout routine? Please ensure that your Weiner is content prior to arriving at the gym. Exceptions cannot be made for sick Weiners, for Weiners following Kosher dietary laws, or for Weiners allergic to nuts.
5. Does my Weiner need to have a separate towel? Staff members are not permitted to make this determination. If you feel comfortable sharing a towel with your Weiner, this is allowable. Please be advised, however, that some Weiners require the use of two towels.
6. What should I do if my Weiner gets tired before I do? This is a sensitive issue for some of our clients. You may want to discuss this with your family doctor, after sending her photos of your Weiner.
7. Could my Weiner feel shy in the shower area? Yes. Just assure your Weiner that it is normal to have these feelings.
8. What if my Weiner doesn't feel shy enough in the shower area? Some Weiner behaviors just have to be ignored. Try not to make any sudden moves or draw undue attention to your Weiner.
9. How much time should I give it if my Weiner is having a hard time following the House Gym rules? Members who have Weiners continually breaking the rules should resign themselves to the fact that this might not be the place for their Weiner. Accordingly, they should secure alternate arrangements as soon as it is feasible.
Please visit Deb Hamilton blog at http://debutopia.blogspot.com
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